Frozen Hearts
by Winters'Darkened'Reflection
Summary: Hermione’s life was almost perfect, now with the loss of two people she loved. It is nothing less than terrible. She begins to wonder if tomorrow is worth living for. Will she find comfort and love in a man, she has known for seven years?
1. Remember

**Frozen Hearts **

The cold wind whipped around her, it was the coldest day of winter. Her Dark curly brown hair whirled around in the wind. She made no attempt to stop it. She slowly made her way to a half frozen tree near the edge of a hill. Her dark milk chocolate eyes scanned her surroundings, everything was covered with snow. Not one tree had any leaves on its branches. No animal was visible threw the winter wonderland she now stood in. She sighed she was excused both mentally and emotionally. She looked up at the sky, dark clouds moved about. Tonight there would be a snow storm. She sighed yet again, but this time out frustration, why was she being so weak. She needed to be strong. Now more than ever, what was she gaining from, grieving and feeling self pity? Nothing. She stood up and decided what she needed was a walk. She walked around for what seem like hours. Her mind had seemed to wonder back to the day when she was told the worst news of her eighteen year old life.

_Flashback_

She swiftly walked up to the door. Her heart seemed to be beating 100 miles a minute.

She closed her eyes and tried to calm her self.

She slowly knocked.

A muffled "enter" was heard from the other side of the door.

"You asked to speak with me sir;" she asked hoping with all her might that it wouldn't have anything to do with her parents

An old man who wore a sad expression on his already tired face, nodded sadly. This man was one of the few men who gave off a powerful aura by just being in a room.

"Please sit," he said waving his hand to a chair in front of his desk.

"Miss. Granger as you well know your parents…….."

Here it was what she had been fearing she closed her eyes trying not to jump to conclusions, one part of her was telling her that maybe her parents where safe and all was just a false call, just maybe, that they where just being moved to a safer place, but her more reasonable side told her that she was being foolish to believe such a thing. She knew Dumbledore was watching her, she could feel his eyes scrutinizing her every move. She slowly opened her eyes and was met by two blue ones. There was no twinkle in them, only sadness. He walked over to her and took her hand in his.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry," he said as he looked at her, "but your parents where attacked, they didn't survive. Again, I'm terribly sorry. "

He cleared his throat and stood up and walked over to his desk, "you are dismissed from classes until you feel strong enough to return."

Hermione who had stopped listening to what he was saying, just stood up and walked out the door. Tears filled her eyes as she walked down a small pair of stairs. Her body started to tremble slightly; she leaned on the wall and slipped down to the floor. There she cried, and cried and cried, until she could no longer cry. Her face felt puffy her eyes burned from all the tears she had cried. She slowly made it back to her room. She headed to straight to bed. She didn't even bother to change before she fell asleep to an un-peaceful slumber. That night she barley slept, her dreams where haunted by two people she loved, and never would see again.

_End of Flashback_

She shook the unwanted thoughts that clouded her already clouded mind away. She couldn't brake down here and cry. She looked into the distance a small almost invisible tear ran down her half frozen face. "I'm sorry," she said so quietly that if she doubted she even said it out loud. She looked at her watch it was ten minuets till dinner, she had promised Harry and Ron she would go down and eat with them. She slowly composed herself and walked back to the castle. Little did she know that someone also made their way back to the castle keeping out of sigh behind her.

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This chapter is has been edited thanks to FireflyLeo.

I hope everyone likes it. Please review and tell me what you think


	2. Mystery Man

Here's Chapter 2, don't forget to read my thanks for everyone that reviewed and helped with this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Mystery man**

He watched her from a far, her dark curly hair whirling in the wind. He observed her face the sad expression she wore broke his heart. It was a look that he knew only to well, that look was the exact one he had when he found his mother had died. He saw her sit down next to a frozen, almost dead tree. It seemed that this tree would not make it threw this winter. He hoped that this was not the case with Hermione.

She looked into the distance as though trying to find someone or something. He wondered why she hadn't broken down crying yet. His thoughts where quickly broken by the pounding of her hand against the ice cold snow beside her. He presumed she had done this out of frustration or sadness. Did she blame herself for what had happened to her parents? God, he hoped not.

It had been three days ago since his last summoning from the Dark Lord. In his last meeting he had found that the Dark Lord was intending to kill her parents. As quickly as he could without drawing attention to himself he had left the Deatheater meeting to inform Dumbledore of the Dark Lords plans. His efforts where in vain, by the time the order had reached her home, both Mr. and Mrs. Granger where dead. He remembered going into her home, and finding her parents on the floor covered with blood from head to toe. Her mother's broken body shot into his mind, he remembered her perfectly. She looked so much like her mother. No, he won't compare her to her mother, she was died. He would not let that happen to her. No matter how hard he tried he saw her mother's body yet again in his mind. Her mother had been by what he saw raped, stabbed and then killed by one of the Deatheater's. His train of thought was broken yet again, by Hermione standing up and starting to walk. God, he hoped she would head back to the castle soon. His hands had turned numb from the brutal weather. Hogwarts was facing this winter. He quickly and quietly placed a stronger warming charm on himself then the one he had on before. It seemed that luck was not on his side, he saw her make her way to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. A misty look crossed her eyes and she. This brought back yet another memory that he held of her.

_Flashback_

He was on his way to Dumbledore's office to talk about her.

He was not concerned he kept repeating to himself; he was just wanted to make sure Dumbledore knew how she was doing.

He quickly hid in the shadows as he saw her approach, her face was pale white and she was trembling. She knew he thought. He saw her support herself for a moment against the wall before she slid to the floor. No matter what people thought of him he was not a heart less bastard, but he was not a man who you could run and get comfort from. He watched her cry and cry. His heart went out to her. She was so young and yet, she had faced more danger and pain then most people could say they had. Just as soon as he started crying, she had stopped. She slowly stood up, wiping the tears from her eyes. He watched as she slowly made her way back to Gryffindor common room.

He sighed and stared at the women that had just occupied his thoughts moments ago.

She also seemed to have snapped out of her trance. Her eye's slowly returned to normal.

The wind blew around him; he pulled his cloak closer around him to protect him form the cold blistering wind. It seemed that the heating charm, had worn off, because his body stared shivering. This problem was quickly forgotten, when he heard an almost un-hearable "I'm sorry," he quickly looked at her, had she just said it or had it been his mind playing tricks with him. He saw a small tear run down her face. She quickly wiped it away. Checking her watch, a worried expression crossed her face. She quietly and quickly began to walk towards the castle. He stayed a great distance behind her. He sighed, would she ever return to the happy know it all girl he had know. _No,_ said something in his mind. He shook his head and entered the castle.

He made his way to the great hall. How he despised eating with these people. He preferred to be by himself. He quickly sat down, but before he could get anything into his empty stomach. He was interrupted "what are you looking at Severus?"

* * *

This chapter is dedicated to my assistant FireflyLeo 

Thanks to her, Angelamisaki, and Johannafor editing my story. You Rock!

Thanks to Sunshine for reading and reviewing. I think your question; will be answered in this chapter.

Kissmesweetly, thanks for reviewing and reading, I hope you like this chapter.

Sorry to all for the bad grammar in my last chapter, I'll do better, remember I suck at grammar.

I like flashback people. You'll be seeing it a lot in this story.

Next chapter will be up soon. I promise it will be up before next Friday. Thanks to everyone. Don't forget to read my other story. "Save Me."

BabyRuth15


	3. Severus

**Chapter 3: Severus **

**Last chapter: "What are you looking at Severus?" **

"Nothing," he muttered bitterly. He quickly began to eat before Dumbledore could interrogate him further. _The only reason I'm here is because of you, dame old fool,_ he thought angrily. He was interrupted yet again by Dumbledore, only to be asked another question.

"Did you have a nice day Severus?" Dumbledore questioned a small twinkle in his eyes.

Severus threw daggers at him with his eyes. If looks could kill Dumbledore would have died in an instant.

"It was bearable," He managed to say coldly through gritted teeth.

Dumbledore just nodded finally realizing that Severus wanted to be left alone.

Severus looked around the great hall. All the dunderheads he had to teach talked to one another happily without a care in the world. How naive they all where. Except a few, he threw a quick glance toward Hermione yet again, but this time he had been caught. _Shit,_ he thought angrily. She looked at him with a questing looking on her face. She didn't seem too disgusted by the fact he was looking at her. He sneered at her. He quickly looked away, he could feel her eyes boring holes into his head, but he just ignored it. He saw Malfoy slip his hand onto Pansy's leg and start heading north... he shuttered inwardly. _Must they display there so called affection in public,_ he thought disgusted by the show. He was brought out of his thoughts by Parkinson shrieking with pleasure. His head was forced back to the golden three-o, by Hermione getting up to leave. She kissed both boys on the cheeks and gave them a small tiny smile. He saw both boys look at her with sad eyes, and look at each other before returning to there conversation. _Stupid, Gryffindors'_ he thought bitterly, _they think they're so great, stupid fools always rushing into danger without even thinking_. He watched as McGonagall shot him a furious glance, before return to talk to Rosemary. He just shrugged it off, this was normal behavior for her. He stood up to leave. He observed the worried expectation displayed on Dumbledore's face and gave him a small almost un-noticeable nod.

He quickly swept threw the great hall his robes swirling around him. He stepped through the front doors of the great hall only to run into Hermione Granger.

"Professor I..." she said in a deflated voice as she looked up at him.

"Miss Granger may I ask why you are just standing in front of the great halls doors, for a witch whose suppose to be intelligent you do not show it," he said coldly with a sneer on his face.

Tears swelled in her eyes as he said this, "I'm sorry," she said before running away from him.

He sighed frustrated, he hadn't meant to make her cry, but he had. He felt his chest rise with guilt. Severus Snape was not a man that dealt with guilt very _well. I shouldn't have been that cruel to her_, he though angrily tohimself. _You're a heartless bastard_ the small voice in the back if his mind told him. He shook the thoughts away and made his way to his private chambers.

He muttered the password to a wall on the forth floor and a door appeared. He quickly stepped through it and was thrown back off his feet. _Shit,_ he thought_, I forgot to bring down the wards_. He quickly scrambled to his feet pulled out his wand and began muttering spell after spell. After a few minutes, he was able to step through the door with out being thrown back three feet.

His quarters where just as cold as his class room, the only difference was that a fire was burning in the corner and bookshelves where everywhere filled with books. Not that the fire made a noticeable difference, his chambers where and would always be cold he presumed. Two black chairs stood in front of the roaring fire with a bottle of whisky with two glasses in-between them. Two small black coaches stood behind them fit for one person to lie on each one. A small coffee table in the middle of the two coach's, with a gigantic dark green rug to cover the cold stone floor. He quickly made his way to his liquor cabinet and poured himself a drink. He rapidly drank it down and threw himself into the nearest chair and poured himself more whiskey. He thought of the women….no girl he had just made cry. She had all ways held her head high when he had insulted her, but he knew he should have been more sensitive to her, after all her parents had just pasted away. He pounded the arm chair with his fist. He poured himself yet another whisky. Hours past and he kept thinking of her and all the terrible things he had down to her over the past seven years. It wasn't always his fault. He had to cruel to her to keep with appearances, she was after all a muggle-born, best friend of Potter and a Gryffindor, but he knew he sometimes he went over the line. "Stupid, irritating, know-it–all woman," he voiced out loud to know one in particular. His lip curled in a sneer as he thought of ways to make it up to her.

After thirty minuets his mind drew only blanks after blanks. He hadn't come up with anything. He didn't know what to do. How he despised not having the answer to something. He rubbed his tired eyes and held back a yawn. He better head to bed soon. Tomorrow would be another day, he would think about it then, he told himself. He slowly stood up, shifting his balance from one foot to the other as he walked. He accidentally stumbled over a pile of books on his way to his bedroom. He got up cursing. His knee ached from where it had come in contact with the stone floor when he had tripped. He finally made it to his bedroom was nothing special, a queen sized been with silk dark sheets on it and thick silk curtains on the windows, blue almost black carpet, a small desk to the right and on the other side of the room a dresser. He made his way to his bed and fell asleep as soon as he hit his pillow thinking of none other than Hermione Granger.

**Review Thanks**:

This chapter is dedicated to FireflyLeo.For being a good friend, a great editor and assistant.

FaIrYmAgIc: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. You and other reviewers wanted a Severus pov. So here you go. Thanks for reviewing.

Resurrected Angel: I know you wanted Hermione's pov. But I truly believed it would be better in this chapter to give Severus' point. I Needed to establish that Severus does feel sorry for how he treated her, but still thinks she's a know-it all. Thanks for reviewing,

kissmesweetly: thank you for keeping an open mind. Yes, writing a story and going to school is a big thing. I have three final exams, 1 Monday, 2 Wednesday, and Friday 3, lots of fun. Good luck with your projects'.

Take your sleazy fic and Leave: I believe you sent me the wrong review; my story does not contain any of these things, if it really was intended for my story. I am sorry you do not like it. It would help if you would review again and tell me what exactly you do not like. Thanks again for reviewing

goddes-snape: yes I did correct a lot of spell or better yet, my "Assistant" did (FireflyLeo). I'm glad you enjoy my story and hope you keep reviewing. I really do not like this chapter, but its ok, not the best or the worst. Just back ground info on Severus a bit. Hermione's pov is next promise.

Lucyferina: Thank you for reviewing and editing my story a bit. I hope you like this chapter. I killed me to write, but I wanted to post something before next Friday. Thanks for your help, you rock. Thanks for saying my "story is interesting" I glad you think so. Severus will not be nice to her for a while, don't worry. That really helped thanks again.

Snape's Witch: thank you for your help's didn't really understand it do you mean to put it like this,

**Flashback**

**End of flashback**. If you can correct me if I'm wrong that would be great. Thanks for your help it real does help. Thanks for reviewing my last chapter. You're the best (along with all my other reviewers.)

RachL8: Thanks for reviewing. I love that you think it's a cute story. You want more; I'll try to write more. Thanks again.

Natsuyori: thanks for reviewing hope you like this chapter. I really like your story teenage Snape. It's a great story.

Thanks again to all my reviewers. I hope you all like this chapter. Next chapter will be in a three days.


	4. Her Way Out

Chapter 4: Her way out

She entered the Great Hall hands sting from the sudden change in temperature. She looked around everyone was happy and cheerful talking to one another. _Why, shouldn't they be_ said a voice in her head,_ after all_ _tomorrow is Christmas._ She sighed and rapidly made her way to her friends. She greeted them with small smiles and sat down.

"Hi Mione, are you hungry?" Harry asked as he piled food onto his plate. How she detested that nick name they called her, but she did not voice her objections to being called it.

"No, but thanks," she said in happiest voice she could muster. She hadn't done a very good job trying to sound cheerful because Harry threw her a questioning look. She quickly turned to Ron trying to avoid eye contact with Harry, only to find Ron shaking his head.

"What," she asked defensively

"Hermione, he began, you're a bloody twig, come on eat something." She looked at him then at Harry who was nodding beside her.

"Ok", she said trying to avoid an argument; she didn't think she could take it right now, "pass the potatoes."

Ron happily obliged.

She ate slowly thinking of her life and how it had turned from almost perfect to horribly bad. Tears threaten to swell up in her eyes, she felt a hand slid into hers and give her a friendly squeeze. She looked up from her food and noticed Harry holding her hand as he talked to Ron. She squeezed back to tell him that she was ok. He let go of her hand and returned his full attention on Ron.

Hermione ate in silence listening only to a few parts of the boy's conversation. It amazed Hermione how much her two best friends had grown. Harry no long was a thin boy with green eyes and wild black hair. He was now man in great physical shape from playing quidditch, his eyes where darker and even more troubled. His wild black hair was just as wild but it suited him well. Ron, her Ron, like a brother to her and grown to a lot his red hair was now longer and darker, he now tied it back in a pony tale like his older brother Bill. His blue eyes where now brighter and sparkled when he laughed.

"So Mione is Ron or me right?" asked Harry.

"What," answered Hermione completely oblivious to what Harry and Ron where talking about.

"Hermione where you even listening to us?" asked Ron, irritation leaking into his voice.

"Sorry," she said, looking down at her food. She didn't need this from him, not him. She needed someone to lean on. To tell her she was going to be ok.

"Hermione I'm sorry," said Ron feeling guilty that he had made her feel bad, after what she was going through, "I know it's been hard on you, but"……. He trailed off.

"Its ok Ron, don't worry about it," Hermione said giving him a small smile.

Ron smiled back at her, before returning to his conversation with Harry.

Hermione sighed quietly. She knew her friends loved her and only wanted her to be ok again, but she knew she would never be the same again. She made an oath mentally; she would try harder to act normal around her friends and other people. If she had to, she would cry rivers of sadness and misery when she was alone, but smile around them.

Hermione tried to pay more attention to the boys' conversation but was distracted by a strange feeling on the back of her neck. That she only got when someone was watching her intensely. She looked up and caught none other than Snape, staring at her a strange distanced look on his face. She noticed how quickly he came back to reality. Many thoughts ran through her mind as she looked at him. _Why was he looking at me? Does he know? I don't want his pity._ She was snapped out of her thought by him sneering at her; before he looked away. She just stared at him for a few seconds. She dropped her gaze from him and looked down at her food on her plate. Her stomach did a flip. She really wasn't hungry. She had only eaten a bit for Ron and Harry, but she couldn't finish it all. She looked at both boys and knew that they would be some what upset by her not eating all her food, but would not voice out there complaints.

"Guys," she spoke up getting their attentions, "I think I'll call it a night." She said while getting up form her seat.

They nodded a worried expression displayed on both their faces. She looked at Harry and read in his eyes the unasked question floating in his mind.

"I'm ok; I just need sleep," she said before kissing him on the cheek and then Ron. (she usually never touch Ron intentionally)

They nodded sadly yet again as she turned away to walk out. She opened the doors of the great hall and stepped through it. Once outside, she let a remorseful sigh. Tears threatened to leek from eyes. She held them back she would not cry, not here. She just stood there for what seemed to her a life time. She felt someone bump into her and turned around to look at, the last person she wanted to cross paths with, that is Professor Snape.

"Professor I…." She began trying to explain why she was standing in front of the Great Hall's doors, but was cut off by him.

"Miss Granger may I ask why you are just standing in front of the great halls doors, for a witch whose suppose to be intelligent you do not show it," he said coldly with a sneer on his face.

Her heart tightened, he was always so_ cruel_ and cold to her. Tears swelled up yet again in her eyes and she knew that they would spill any moment

"I'm sorry," she said weakly, before running off tears flowing freely from her eyes.

She ran until she reached the fat lady and felt her weight give under her feet and just sat on the floor and cried and cried. She cried out in anger, for all the pain she felt and for her parents.

His words rang in her head. He hated her; tears ran down her already flushed face, thinking about this.

"I want to die," she said getting up, not caring that the fat lady looked down at her sadly. She walked up to the astronomy tower and walking in, she headed to the window on the other side of the room. She looked down tears blurring her vision.

_You'll see them again_ spoke the voice in the back of her mind.

_You're being stupid if you do this_ reasoned yet another voice in her mind.

She looked down yet again at the ground beneath the astronomy tower tears running down her face. She carefully pulled herself to the edge. She stood there, tears flowing from her eyes. Pain, sadness, played together in her heart.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not strong enough,"She said out loud to no one in particular before closing her eyes and letting herself fall. Unknown to her that someone else also inhabited the room. Professor Dumbledore, who had been informed by the fat lady of what Hermione, had said out loud, had made his way to the astronomy tower, and beat her to it.

Dumbledore watched as one of the most brilliant minds of this age, walked in and headed towards the window at the other side of the room. He observed her as she carefully pulled herself to the edge of the window and looked down and said her last words before letting herself fall.

'I'm sorry, I'm just not strong enough', his heart ached at hearing her words. This young woman, like a granddaughter to him, had made herself believe that this was her only way out.

As he saw her fall, he muttered a spell that froze her in mid-air and slowly and carefully not to break his wand connection with her body he brought her back safely inside and placed her on the cold stone floor.

He looked at her; she was unconscious one of the side affects of the spell. Dumbledore bent down and picked her up, and began his way to the hospital wing. After several minuets, he was close to his destination. As he approached the doors of the hospital wing, they where thrown open. A very pale and scared McGonagall stood at the entrance of them.

"Is she ok?" she questioned torn between anger and fear.

"Yes," responded Dumbledore, placing her on the bed, "all she needs is rest."

"Albus, why did she try to kill herself?" McGonagall asked sadly, looking down at her star pupil.

"Desperation," he answered sympathetically looking at Hermione. "I'll speak to her tomorrow." Severus was correct."

He sighed and looked at his friend and said, "come my dear let us get some sleep, she will be alright now, I hope," he said the last part so softly that McGonagall was unable to hear it. Dumbledore closed the doors to the hospital wing, a small click echoed through the wing as he did.

Review thanks

This chapter is dedicated to Lucyferina 

MagickAlianne: Thanks for reviewing. I'm sorry this chapter is not that long, but I'm applying for a school and programs to do this summer. I love having you as a reviewer. Ch. 2 of Tears will be up soon. Thanks again.

Papu: I'm sorry for the errors. Remember I suck at grammar. Sorry. Thanks for reviewing. No you're not a pain in the 'ass' it really helps when people tell me if I'm incorrect. I enjoy learning so go for it, say what you see wrong with my story.

FaIrYmAgIc: Thanks for reviewing. Thanks for your opinion, it helped.

Resurrected Angel: Heres hermione's pov, hope you like.Thanks for reviewing.Your rock.

kissmesweetly: I Have more work! I'm apllying for prep classes and want to change school ( i want to go to a better one than the one I am registered at) I have to do paper work and write essays for each one. Fun.not. Thanks for reviewing I hope you like this chapter.

goddes-snape: Your the best , thanks for reviewing

Lucyferina: Thanks for all your support. and for editing.

Snape's Witch: Thanks for reviewing


	5. Next Morning

Next Morning

Severus was awakened by someone poking him. He opened his eyes slowly, his head was pounding. He jumped, as to big pair of green eyes stared back at him.

"Shit!" he cursed as he grabbed his head. He looked at the small house elf in front of him.

"What," he snapped

"Dobby is sorry to wake sir," said the house elf," but you is needed, headmaster wish to speak to you sir, he says to please hurry," With a small bow the house elf disappeared.

He slowly made his way to his storage cabinet and took the hang over potion. He undid the cap and saw that there was no more.

"Fuck it," he said as he threw the empty bottle on the floor, smashing it into tiny pieces. This was a mistakes as the small bottle hit the floor, making a shattering noise he grabbed his head.

After a few minuets he managed to get a hold of himself he went to his bathroom. As the cold stone floor collided with his feet, he shivered.

"What the hell does he want," he wondered out loud as he undressed, his stomach still doing back flips. The head master never called him, unless it was important something to do with the order, so early in the morning.

Stepping into the shower he sighed, his head felt like a balloon, he was sleepy… and then Hermione. _What about her, _asked the small pestering voice in the back of his mind. He washed quickly and dressed trying to ignore the small voice in his mind.Why had he thought of her? _Because she is beautiful, intelligent, and loving,_ answered the voice. He shook his wet damp hair, _since when was she beautiful to me…._

Finished dressing he stepped out of his chamber, and made his way to Dumbledore's office.

After a few minuets he ran into the person he disliked most of all, Harry Potter.

"Potter what you think your doing," he questioned in a low dangerous voice. 

Harry looked at him and answered "On my way to the hospital wing, sir."

"Why may I ask you need to do such a thing?" 

Harry, who was wasting time, answered, "Not that it matters to you, sir, but to see Hermione"

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Potter, for your lack of respect for a teacher", he said before sweeping past Harry.

_Why is Her-- Miss Granger in the hospital wing_? He wondered, as he quickened step to the headmaster's office.

"Sugerdrop," He hissed at the statues that led to the stairs to the headmaster's office. _Old fool making his passwords __candy__ names_, he thought as he saw the statue spring to life. He walked to the headmaster's office and knocked on the door.

"Enter," said a very old voice of a man on the other side of the door.

"Severus, I'm glad you could come so quick," he said as he put down a very large book on his desk, with a loud thud. Severus hissed in pain as his head began to pound again…

"Headmaster what is it you wish to speak to me about," he said coolly, his head still pounding.

"About Miss Granger," Dumbledore said getting to straight to the point. "Last night I witnessed her trying to take her life."

Severus just sat there a blank look displayed on his face, but inside he was being torn apart.

"_Why are you so cold to me_?"

Her exact words played over and over in his head, for what must have been a few minuets after she tried to take her life he thought. 

"Severus," Dumbledore said snapping him out of his trance "I would like you to keep an eye on Miss Granger. As you well know, her parents have just passed away…."

All Severus could do was nod, he felt partly responsible for not being able to prevent the attack. Memory's flashed into his mind again. "I would like you to make sure she does not try anything against her life again," He said sadly letting a small sigh out… "That is all Severus. Thank you, you may leave."

Snape nodded and stood up, heading to the door, before turning around and giving the headmaster a last glance, before stepping through the door.

He sighed, his mind filled with troubled, sad thoughts. He had attempted the same thing when his mother had passed away. She had been the only person that cared for him, with out wanting anything but love back from him… His heart ached for her, how he still missed her, but now was not the time to think of her. His first order of business was to go visit Hermione at the hospital...

Thanks to...

Devilangel05: thank you for reviewing my story.

charmedsisters: thanks I feel so loved….lol..

goddessnape: well I like to throw you off once in a while, thanks for reviewing…

RachL8: Thank you for helping me, getting that right…

Natsuyori: Thanks for reviewing; I'm glad you like the story….I'm here to please .lol

BlackRibbonedRose: thanks for reviewing

Well to everyone one who reads and doesn't review thanks for reading, I hope you like this chapter…I do that sometimes too. :)


	6. Facing The Truth

Facing the truth.

Hermione woke up and found herself in a comfortable bed white fluffy sheets. Looking around, she found herself in the placed she disliked to be the most; hospital wing. She wasn't quite sure what had happened, all she could remember was standing on the edge of the railing and letting herself fall, but here she was. As far as she knew, the tower did not have a spell to protect the students from falling from its windows.

She sat up on the bed, and quickly laid back down. The room even though she knew was kept warm felt freezing to her; she pulled the covers closer around her. She noticed as she observed the room closer, that she was the only patient the hospital wing.

She heard the door being opened and closed she quickly pretended to be asleep, hoping that they would leave soon, no matter who they were.

Hermione heard soft muttering of Harry and Ron talking.

'Why did you take so long?' Hissed Ron as they walked towards Hermione's end of the hospital wing.

'It's stupid _Snape's_ fault!' He hissed, still angry about the encounter, 'The git wanted to know where the hell I was going, and then I told him, and he said I was _'disrespectful'_.'

Ron gave him a quick look but said nothing.

Harry examined to him sourly, 'So? Maybe I was! But I don't care, he's just an ass, I hate him. But anyway, come on, let's go see how she is.'

Hermione who had heard everything that had been said, pretended to be asleep. She had no energy to explain to her friends, why she had tried to kill herself and how she was feeling. So she just laid there and let Ron and Harry talk to themselves.

'Harry, do you think she'll be alright?' asked Ron, looking down at Hermione with sad eyes.

'Ya,' said Harry and sighed, 'But when she wakes up, let's not ask her anything alright. I think it had something to do with her parent's death.' Ron looked at Harry for a moment, before then looking at Hermione.

He nodded. 

Hermione felt sudden warmth towards Harry, who would know better then Ron to how it felt to have no parents or anyone to care for him but his friends and people around him. A single tear fell from her eyes and hit the pillow. She had so many people that loved her; Mrs. Wesley, Mr. Wesley. Ginny, Ron, Harry and so many other people…but she didn't have them.

She heard the door close, they had left. She sighed and sat up. She heard the door open but did not pretend to be asleep.

Her eyes had a glassy look to them and were filled with tears. She looked away from the window and registered the presence of another person. The last person she had expected to visit her was there with her.

'Miss Granger. .'


	7. Bleeding

Miss Granger…he waited a moment before speaking. 

"How are you feeling," he asked feeling rather stupid, knowing all to well how she felt. By the shocked look on her face his question had caught her off guard. She didn't answer and he knew she wouldn't but all the same he had asked. He watched as her eyes filled with tears burning to escape but she held them back. Willing her not to cry in front of him with all her might; She's strong he thought but quickly pushed past that thought to the matter at hand.

Why he asked quietly. She looked up and shook her head and broke into tears. He was surprised by her action and said the first thing that came to mind, "Granger silence yourself. "

She just continued to cry. Not knowing what to do he left. Feeling like a fool for the situation he had put himself in. His plan had fallen apart. He had planed to enter and just begin to talk to her about how stupid she had been for what she had done. He stood looking into the distance for a moment, scowling at passing first years. He looked once more at the door before walking away

Hermione looked up. He had left. Why he had asked. Why because I have nothing to live for her mind screamed. Tears flowed from her eyes. She felt like a mess and probably looked like it too. She slowly got out of bed. Her head hurt by her movements. She looked around and saw that she was alone in the hospital wing. She walked into madam poppy's office and saw she was not there. She saw a small pocket knife on the table, which seemed to have belonged to one of Hogwarts students. She grabbed it and made her way out of the small office.

She walked to the bathroom. Locked the door and she sat on the floor and looked at the small knife. Putting the knife to her wrist she closed her eyes. She didn't want to be here. Everyone would be asking her why in a few hours and she didn't want to deal with it. Picturing her parents and crying as she did, she cut deeply into her wrist. She watched with a terrible sadness as her blood flowed to the floor. She closed her eyes once more and laid her head on the cold tile floor.

Many thought filled her mind, images of her friends, of pain, of her parents. At least I'll have them she thought as she slowly made her way into death. She could feel her body being covered with her blood. She heard the door open and she opened her eyes slightly and saw a man in black before she lost consciousness. 

Severus walked to the great hall before he remembered that he had left her alone.

Shit he hissed as he knew that she would try something else to take her life. Walking with great speed he made his way to the hospital wing. Thoughts of what she could be doing filled his mind. He quickly schools his thought and walked with great speed back from where he had come from. First years watched him pass by and quickly moved away from him. Opening the hospital wings door and walking towards her bed he found she was no longer there.

His heart began to race. Where is she he asked himself? After looking in poppy's office, He concluded that if she was not in the bathroom she had left the hospital wing. He tried to open the door and couldn't

Stupid girl he said in a deadly voice. Taking out his wand he muttered the incantation to open the door and saw her on the floor.

He saw her open her eyes slightly and then pass out. Her body was covered with her own blood. Blood continued to flow from her veins as he stood there. Quickly he moved towards her. Her wrist was deeply cut and she was on the verge of death. His robes began to get covered in her blood.

Grabbing a small towel near the sink that he wrapped her wrist, he noticing how truly pale she looked. He picked her up and headed towards her bed. The small white towel was turning a dark red as time passed. Looking at her once more he ran into poppy's office and took a small bottle of healing potion from it and made his way back to her. Picking up her head and parting her lips he slipped the potion into her mouth slowly. After making sure she had consumed it all. He began to unbutton his robes as he looked at her. After he unbuttoned the third one he stopped and removed a small flask from under his black t-shirt. A small bottle of a bluish /reddish substance moved around in it. Picking up her head once more he poured some into her mouth. He let a low sigh as he saw color slowly returning into her cheeks.

He closed the small bottle and put it back inside his robes and began to button his robes again. He could feel the coldness of the small bottle touching his skin. He had kept this small bottle with him as long as he could remember. It contained his blood and a potion. He had invented the Sangrado potion. After noticing how many times he had been on the verge of death because of blood lost. All it did was replace the blood the person had lost back into there body. He looked down at her; she was now safe from another attempt on her life.

Looking away from her, he walked back into poppy's office. He walked to the fire place and called three elves to him.

Three small pops sounded in the small office.

How may tally help sir asked the shortest elf who seemed to be a female

Follow me he instructed to all three of them. He walked out of the room the three elves's trailing behind him. He led them to the bathroom where he had found her. The elf's eyes grow even larger if possible.

Clean this he ordered I don't want to see a dot of blood. And then you he said pointing to the elf tolly I would like you to clean her up. The elf turned towards the direction he was pointing and saw Hermione lying on the bed covered in blood.

After you do that, change the beds sheets and come fetch me. Do not for any reason let madam poppy come in do you understand.

The three elves nodded and began to work. He sighed what would poppy say if she saw her hospital wing like this. He didn't want to think of it. And then there was Hermione if he had left everything the way it was and gone to fetch poppy he would never hear the end of it for leaving her alone. Plus Hermione would never escape the woman's worried looks after that. In a small way he was doing her a favor.

He looked around once more at the elves working before making his way to Dumbledore's office. All he could think of was and seeing her covered in her own blood, he kept pondering what her next attempt on her life would be. Oh yes he knew she would try again, until she was able to kill herself. She would continue to try until she was given something to live for. This worried him more; she had distained herself from everyone who cared for her.

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Sorry for all the mistakes, I don't edit my chapters. If I do I feel bad about it. So sorry, but too bad. I do need a new beta. My beta seems to have been kidnapped. I can't get in touch with her. Well so anyone wants to be my new and improved beta. Thanks to all that read. I was told by friends that all my chapters Hermione wants to die and that meant I did too because I wrote her life that. I am not suicidal Just like to make it seem so. Thanks again.

Ruth.


	8. Hope In The Dark

Chapter 9 : Hope in the dark.

Hermione woke with a start, her head felt heavy as did her eyes, but she was very much awake. She looked down at her wrists she had failed once again. Why wouldn't they let her just die, all she wanted was to be with her parents. She slowly slid her body out of bed, not caring that every muscle in her body was screaming at her to not. She had to, she need to get away from all of them everything. Her mind raced as she began to walk where would she go, how would she survive? She shook her head and went to explore her surroundings. She walked a short distance before walking in a beautiful bathroom that took her breath away.

It was a marvels bathroom, with a marble sink and a enormous bathtub just as big or bigger then the one in the perfects bathroom. She noticed that need it a robe hung, it was dark green and very heavy. She smiled a shy smile. She wondered who it belonged to. She sighed and turned to look at herself in the mirror. Her eyes widened as she looked at herself in the mirror she was thin, and pale, she saw dark circles under her eyes that where puffy from all her crying. She shook her head as she looked at her hair. it looked like a tornado had blown through it.

She sat on the enormous bathtub, thinking of her life and what was to come. She knew she would be watched by everyone so closely that she would never be left alone again.  
Tears rolled down her eyes as she thought of what everyone must think of what she did and how much she had hurt everyone. All she wanted was to leave, not to hurt anymore was that a sin, to want to make everything you feeling pain disappear from her heart. If it was she thought then I have sinned.

She had to fins a way to make everyone believe she was no longer hurting. But how? She didn't know what to do. A small moan of frustration escaped her cracked lips. She didn't know what else to do, she had tried everything. She had tried to take her life to be with her parents. Destined herself from everyone, but nothing worked.

Hermione looked up at the ceiling and there and then asked god to help her survive, to help her take all the pain away. Hermione stood up and turned the water on in the bathtub, she added shampoo for bubbles to form, whoever this bathroom belonged to, never seemed to take bubble baths to relax. Quickly she undressed, and stepped into the steaming water, she jumped as her body came in contact with the hot water but stilled lowered herself into it. Her body adjusted quickly to the warmth of the water, and it soon became comfortable for her to be tin.

She plunged her head underwater and began to swim the distance of the pool size bathtub. Hermione could feel every muscle in her body loosen as she stayed in the water. She sighed and put her head back. God, what was to become of her she asked to herself? She smiled as a idea hit her, she knew what she would do, she would act as if everything was alright. Her mothers' voice rang in her head. "Be strong my little one, life will sometimes hurt you but remember no matter where I am you can always find me when you need me. Just sing and I'll hear you." She smiled bitterly as she thought of her mother. Such a strong woman, her mother and her had been very close. They had a relationship many mothers envied. Hermione knew that she could talk to her mother openly and not be concerned about the outcome. Her mother had told her to be strong and she had not been. Hermione Jane Granger felt sadness over take her, sing and I'll here you she repeated to herself. Her mother had told her that when she had become nervous about leaving to Hogwarts her first year. She softly began to hum and then she began to sing. With each passing moment her voiced raised. She pushed past the bubble filled water the other side of the pool. There she let all her emotions leak into her voice, never letting it crack, but singing with such sadness it would torn anyone's heart apart.

_"Momma please stop cryin, I can't stand the sound  
Your pain is painful and its tearin' me down  
I hear glasses breakin as I sit up in my bed  
I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you  
said.." _

Tears where now spilling from Hermiones eyes. She remember the first time she had heard this song. It had been she had been when she had been in her room crying about her father and mother yelling down stairs about something. She had thought that maybe they would get a divorce like friends father and mother where. She had known that they where just saying these awful things to each other because they where angery and hurt with each. She had never told them how much it had hurt her that day to hear them fight for the first time, so loud that she could hear them.

_"You fight about money, bout me and my brother  
And this I come home to, this is my shelter  
It ain't easy growin up in World War III  
Never knowin what love could be, you'll see  
I don't want love to destroy me like it has done  
my family  
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?  
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything  
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?  
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't  
leave  
Daddy please stop yellin, I can't stand the sound  
Make mama stop cryin, cuz I need you around  
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says  
its true  
I know that she hurts you, but remember I love  
you, too  
I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away  
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have  
no choice, no way  
It ain't easy growin up in World War III  
Never knowin what love could be, well I've seen  
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my  
family  
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?  
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything  
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?  
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't  
leave  
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy  
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comes  
naturally  
I don't wanna have to split the holidays  
I don't want two addresses  
I don't want a step-brother anyways  
And I don't want my mom to have to change her  
last name  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)  
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that  
(I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do  
anything)  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)  
Let's play pretend act and like it comes so  
naturally  
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't  
leave)  
In our family portrait we look pretty happy  
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)  
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that  
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't  
leave)  
Daddy don't leave  
Daddy don't leave  
Daddy don't leave  
Turn around please  
Remember that the night you left you took my  
shining star?  
Daddy don't leave  
Daddy don't leave  
Daddy don't leave  
Don't leave us here alone  
Mom will be nicer  
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother  
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner  
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right  
I'll be your little girl forever  
I'll go to sleep at night..." _

She finished singing the song she loved because of that day.She sighed so deeply that it even suprised herself. Qucikly she finished washing and rinsed herself off. Stepping out of the warm water she dried herself off and pulled on the dark green robe on. She rapped it around herself. It smelled like rich spices. She smiled, she wondered who it could it belong to once again. Her mind flashed to the man she had seen before passing out who had saved her life. She would find out who it had been. No matter how long or hard she had too look. She opended the bathroom door and came face to face with the man who had been thinking of.

Well here you are the next chapter to frozen Hearts. Well review and tell me if you like or hated it. This chapter goes to my beta and the people that reviewed.

Thanks to the following reviewers for taking the time to read my story and review it.

Natsuyori: 'poor hermie and sevvie!' believe that's what you said. IF you hang with me I'll make you feel really sorry for them, the worst is to come to them .Thanks for reviewing you're the best.

dagworth: Thanks, my story is something else I guess. If you like people crying and feeling like life sucks,( which most of the time it does). Well I'm glad you like, thanks for reviewing

CareBearErin: Well I wouldn't try to kill myself because my parents died. My friends say I would go around yelling from happiness. Let's just say my friends are odd. No I would be sad if they died, but I know life has to go on and they wouldn't want me to be sad. Well yes she doesn't have anything to live for she believes, but in this chapter it shows you, or at least o got the point across that she know that what she's doing is hurting people who care for her. Thanks for the review people like you that review really help me. Lol.

i love the elements: OK well after i got your reiview i began to write this chapter, so most of the credit goes to you and my loving beta. Well heres the chapter you wanted. Thanks for reviewing it helped me.


	9. Author's Note

Hey here is my new chapter hope you like it. Took forever to get it out and i'm sorry for that...Thank you to all that are still reading it, I promise to get another chapter out very soon.

Thank you all

Ruthy


	10. Unavoidable Truth

Professor Snape! Hermione felt her body turn numb and slowly sink before the darkness over took her.

Everything was to dark. She hated the darkness yet at times she could find tormented peace in it. A peace that had been shattered by to many deaths and far to much suffering already. Observing her surroundings she noted that her wrists where chained over her head to a pole. Fear quickly spread through every limb in her body. She could feel the presence of another being, if she dared call it that. Her body shivered, what could cause this from such a distance? She tugged against the chains only to hear a menacing chuckle. Closing her eyes she waited for the worst. Tears slipped out that had gathered in her eyes as she felt the presence approach her. Its thin hand touched her cheek chilling her skin. She did not dare open her eyes. Its piercing eyes loomed over her, roughly it grabbed her chin and still her eyes remained shut. As though opening them would cause her to lose everything. 'Open them' it spoke in a woman's voice, sending shivers down Hermione's spine, 'why have you chosen yourself for me child?' trembling in her hand Hermione answered her eyes slowly opening. 'For death has stolen what I love.' A bitter laughter rang around her as the cloaked figure who stood out in the darkness for she was pitch black took a few steps away from her. 'Stolen?' the figure repeated questioningly to herself. 'Death does not steal she announced confirming it to herself as well as Hermione, 'it delivers souls to heaven or hell. Do you blame death for your parents, your friend?' Her mothers beautiful image stood before her along with her fathers and her dearest childhood friend. Pain, hate, anger along with shame poured from her eyes onto the images. She wanted to rush to them hold them tell them she loved them all, but she hated them all the same. She wanted to be free and hurt them. Hurt them just a little.

'God' she spoke laughing at her stupidity for she had long ago given up hope on him. She screamed, that's all she could do and launched herself towards them only to be held back by the chains. Her wrists where the chains locked at, become raw from her attempts to liberate herself. 'why mama? why did you and daddy have to go? WHY!!! she screamed but the image of the woman resembling her mother just stood there and watched no emotion displayed on her face. The cloaked figure stepped forward and spoke softly 'you child shall know suffering above all of man kind, though you are weak. Can you bear to lose your soul, have it ripped from you...witness the ones you love die...standby and let that happen? Can you, my weeping angle?' Hermione's eyes filled with terror. 'please, she begged, tell me a way to prevent it.' Even in the darkness Hermione could sense the figure grin sadly, 'that is not my place young one, be careful soon enough we will meet again. 'Who are you? screamed Hermione knowing deep down who the woman really was.

An almost un-hearable voice answered in a language Hermione could not understand clearly, "infectus Angli, excessum." As the words reached Hermione's ears she felt herself being pulled back, unable to stop it, and not caring anymore.

Her vision slowly began to become clear. She found herself in a warm bed, the curtains closed shutting out the light. Professors Snape's bedroom no less, she thought mentally, but at the moment she didn't care where she was. The woman's words filled her mind "witness the ones you love die," tears streamed from her eyes. With tears continuing to flow she stood up, the room was dim lighted which made it difficult to make out anything clearly. As she pulled the robe around herself tighter, she felt a sharp pain all over her body. She screamed unable to stop herself, it was unlike any pain she had experienced. Her body trembled and she felt, as if her skin was burning. Two strong arms caught her before she could hit the floor. Slowly the pain began to pass, as it did she wept in the mans arms. She cried for everything, anything, 'God why are you so cruel,' she mumbled into the clothing of the man that held her. She felt herself being lifted and allowed it.

'Are you capable of walking?' the man asked.

'Yes, professor I am,' she answered, but as she took a step forward she was thrown against the wall by some useable force. Blood trickled from her now reopened cuts slowly soaking the bathrobe. Her body slid down the wall, falling roughly on piles of books. Everything hurt, words, images, clouded her mind. She wept in pain and helplessness. She looked up and saw Snape removing the books on top of her. His eyes full of worry, 'help me' she cried to him as another attack began on her body. All he was able to do was hold her and mutter soothing words feeling her body burning against his. Her cries of pain and terror filled the room, she cried for the end to come, for the pain to stop. Breathing heavily her hand touched his cheek thanking him, before she drifted into sleep, her body and mind exhausted from everything that had occurred. Carefully Snape picked her up and carried her back into his bedroom, where he watched her sleep from across the room his mind tormented by the truth that sooner or later he would be unable to avoid.


	11. Frozen

She felt so light headed. Hermione's mind was swamped with images of the nightmare she had just experienced. Thoughts and emotions rushed through her, to fast for her to cope with. Hermione felt alone as if the whole world shunned her condemning her to be an outcast forever. She needed to know someone cared, that someone was there, anyone…but no one answered her silent wants. Sighing tiredly she laid there unknown to her someone was watching her in the shadows. No tears came, her eyes felt swollen and sleepy, but she dread returning to her slumber.

"Professor?" she questioned the darkness. No reply was returned. "Be safe" And with that she closed to hers and drifted off to sleep

He stood there unable to understand why she would ask him to be safe. Running his hands through his hair, he watched her sleep; watched as she turned and struggled against things in her nightmare.

"Professor," she painfully moaned.

Curiosity peeked; he walked over to her and sat on the side of the bed being careful not to cause the bed to move to under his weight to much…after all he didn't want her to get the wrong idea. Entering her mind he was thrown into a dimly lit room… her emotions washed over him, make him shiver. 'Please professor don't die, I don't care if anyone doesn't care. I do please, hold on. Dumbledore will be here soon. Please don't leave,"…she cried holding someone's unconscious body to her, whose he was unable to make out. He focused on this image more. What he saw shocked and petrified him. Lying in her arms was his beaten, pale dieing body.

"Hold on, someone is coming, don't go…hold on." she sobbed tears falling on his face. He watched as her eyes turned glassy and felt her emotions shift from sadness to determination, anger.

"Pro- Severus, please hold on. You can't go. People need you, I need you. Please." His name sounded so foreign coming from her lips. The thing he didn't, couldn't understand why she cared so much, why she wouldn't let him go. "Life hasn't been fair to you please. Think of the good it has given you. Think of what will happen when you're gone. I never hated you. I just didn't understand now I do." He had seen enough. What did she understand, she was a child. No not a child, a young woman his mind corrected. Growling in frustration he looked at her. She tossed and said his name every so often.

"Miss granger he said softly, nothing, she struggled again the sheets that covered her. "Herm- Hermione," he tried again…she settled down slightly. Her eyes felt so heavy, she could hear someone calling her softly. Everything was so complicated; nothing was clear from her dreams to what she felt. She tried listening to the voice call to her, it calmed her in a way she could not explain. She waited for the voice to call again, but this time it called her by her given name. Looking down at the body in her hands she wished it away wished to follow the voice to wherever it took her. Her eyes snapped open; her head felt like a pile of bricks had been placed on it. She gasped for breath. Hermione was covered in sweat and felt nauseous. She cried silently, curling up into a tight ball. It had felt so real. So damn real. He had left, he had died saving her. "Sev- professor," she quietly said.

She felt a hand lie on her shoulder, and tensed under it. It was quickly removed from where it was. Shutting her eyes, she waited for the worst but nothing came. "Miss Granger," it was Snape's voice. It sounded like music to her ears, which confused her and put her off simultaneously. She turned to see the outline of a figure standing out against the darkness of the room.

Professor she asked timidly. He didn't answer but she felt him there never the less.

"Would you like to talk about it," he questioned feeling the strange question slip from his mouth

"um.n...No" Hermione stammered shocked by his question. She felt him move away, it seemed like a life time that she lay there with waiting for his return.

"Sit up, and drink," he commanded making her jump, breaking her train of though. With great determination and all the strength she attempted to sit up, and failed, she tried once more and achieved her goal; she had sat up all by herself a small victory but a victory at that. Feeling exhausted from so much movement, she just sat there. He handed her the goblet, as she drank it, she recognized the taste or the lack of taste. Sleeping drought. She gave him a small smile. "Thank you" she said handing him the empty goblet. Sighing heavily she waited for sleep to take her, to finally be able to rest. To sleep free of nightmares free of everything for a short time at least.

He watched her slowly drift to sleep and wake a moment later to look around until her eyes landed on the place where he stood, sigh quietly and begin to fall asleep once more only to wake again and again. After the fifth time of making sure he was still there even if he didn't speak she fell asleep. Several moments passed, he observed her, making sure she was truly asleep. Satisfied that she indeed was he walked out of his bedroom deep in thought.

Here you are for the few that follow this story. Sorry it took forever next chapter will explain more


	12. Understanding

Severus sat impatiently awaiting the headmaster's arrival. 'Damned old man' he thought angrily. He heard a whimper escape from the adjoin room and all thoughts returned to the young woman…who fought her personal demons _alone_. Pinching the bridge of his nose he tried to regain control of the situation, in all his years as a teacher he had never once cared about a student, yet again his mind retailed 'she's not just a student she's a brilliant young woman.'

'You again,' he snapped back at himself mentally…He had struggled with this irritating voice, more then usual. Sighing softly in frustration he paced, pacing always helped it gave his body something to do and kept his mind from thinking, theorizing and trying to formulate answers it should never.

"Severus?" a voice spoke. Looking at direction of the voice he saw Dumbledore's head floating in the center of the fire. Nodding to tell the headmaster to continue, he sat down across from the fire.

"Forgive me Severus, something has come up. I hope this won't matter, what is it my boy that you need to speak to me so urgently. "

"Headmaster," he said, pulling his wand out he cast a silencing spell on the room. Dumbledore looked curious, his eyes alert and questioning.

"Did you receive my owl explaining what happened?" Snape asked his employer.

"Yes I did" was his reply

"What do you make of it?"

Sighing Dumbledore spoke, "I am not all to certain, but I believe there is only_ one _explanations to what happened to Miss Granger. As you very well know her parents have just passed. We are both aware that magic is concentrated on the persons emotions along with their knowledge. "

Snape nodded waiting for the headmaster to continue.

"Miss Granger has been a state of pain and self destruction, her parents and she were close, and though I fear they drifted apart slightly once she became a witch their bond was still strong. Are you aware Severus that the night before her parents died she "dreamed" of it?

Severus looked towards his bedroom door before returning his attention to the headmaster, "no."

Dumbledore nodded continuing his theory, "I believe she did not just dream it but witnessed it. Her mother Severus, she described in detail how her mother died, she though I am quiet curtain is unaware of this, died the exact way she described, she is slowly piecing it together. Her mind is brilliant, and her emotions at the given time when the accident occurred were very frantic and unstable."

Snape looked at him he was calling it an accident what happened to her, being thrown 20 feet across a room and slammed into his bookshelf an accident. He glared at him; he still didn't understand…Not many people did. Sighing he began to pace.

"Severus the information you sent me, is it complete, have you overlooked any little detail?"

"No, I told you everything, you're theory still does not explain why her wounds reopened or why she was thrown across a room" He snapped angrily

Dumbledore looked at him. "You care for her" he stated looking at the man before him.

Stopping dead in his tracks he slowly turned to look at him. Sending daggers with his eyes his direction he continued to pace.

The headmaster watched him for several minutes. "Severus please sit down you're making me dizzy with all you're pacing, sit so I may continue."

Snape did as he was told.

"Miss Granger emotional state may have caused her to as you say thrown across a room. She has kept all her pain, most..."he corrected looking at Snape's eyes… locked up inside, negative like positive energy causes a witch or wizard to perform magic differently. The negative energy she stored inside finally over flowed and unable to control it harmed herself as a punishment."

"Why didn't she harm me?" Snape questioned an eyebrow raised.

"She could have, but it is not her way, her body is punishing itself for being what she is a witch, a magical being."

Nodding he waved the headmaster to continue as he pinched the bridge of his nose trying to find a solution to this mess.

"She has very powerful magic, not many in the magic community know that muggle borns can tap as they do to the magic around them…Miss Granger did that, but she tapped into something deeper, the magic in her blood, her great great grandmother I believe was a witch, magic runs through her as it does through you, but the force she used, better yet the magic she demonstrated came from a deep place, inside herself, her soul - love, love for her family. The death of her parents was not the first scratch on her soul, it was a wound that you very well know takes time to heal if it ever does. "

"Are you saying Miss Granger accessed ancient magic we all carry?" Snape asked his mind buzzing with thoughts.

"Yes I believe that is what accrued. She Severus will never be the same, we must be careful; unlike Harry she is can do great harm when provoked or stirred to."

Severus nodded he understood, she was capable of many things her knowledge was vast, and if she had reached inside herself and awoken magic long ago forgotten she would be in danger as would every Death Eater that crossed her path or anyone who attempted to harm her mentally or physically. His mind recalled the memory that he along ago had stored away; - what he had done to the man who had harmed his mother, the only person who had loved him without expecting something in return.

His wand was pointed at him, hate, loathing ran through him. He had killed her, taken the only person he had. He dug his wand further more into the mans throat

"Severus," the man said shakily. He loved it, to finally have control. This son of a bitch had harmed him. Harmed her, and then stolen her life_. I'll protect you my little man_ he heard his mothers voice whisper to him in the wind. Tears stung his eyes.

Determination running through him he told the man to stand up. The man did as he was told. He removed his wand from his throat and stepped away…

"Now father," he spat the word father as though saying it caused his tongue to burn…" You will pay for what you did to mother. "

His father's eyes widened. He watched as his son raised his wand and pointed it directly at his chest ones more time and mutter "Crucio". An agonizing scream escaped his lips, and then the pain stopped. Then again he heard him say it with more strength, the pain was worse, his body felt on fire as though thousands of knifes cut into him. He panted looking at his son. His eyes, identical to his own were full of hatred, pain, and a desire to harm.

Raising his wand again he practically screamed the curse. He saw his father cringe in agony. A cold smile ran over his lips.

"Does it hurt?" he asked keeping his wand steady, memories of his mother begging the scum before him to please not harm him floated to the surface of his mind.

"Remember, when she begged you to stop, to not harm me, who will protect you," he said kicking the man with all his might in the head. Releasing him from the curse he watched as he coughed blood and struggled to get up. He watched with sick fascination as the man he hated moved back as he approached.

"You will pay with blood, tears, and you're life!" Severus said darkly raising his wand again, but this time it was thrown from his hand. Turning around he looked at the stern eyes of his former teacher. Albus Dumbledore. …

"SEVERUS," he heard someone say loudly, snapping back to the present he looked at the same man who so many years ago tried to save him, but had failed only to try again.

Looking at him telling him to continue whatever he was saying.

Sighing the headmaster looked at the younger man, like a son to him.

"My time is up Severus, I am needed we shall continue this conversation some other time. Take care my boy" with that he vanished leaving Severus to contemplate his words

Authors note: Thank you to all for the reviews…they rock. A special thanks to**Sampdoria**: you're review rocked I really thought it was funny especially the ending…(Just write fast and update soon:-)) another big thanks to **saerie10**: I'm glad you enjoyed reading it thanks for the review, last but not least, **MigratingCoconuts06**: by the way you're name rocks its cool...thanks for reading. And to everyone else sorry if there something that doesn't make sense or is misspelled... I have no beta or anyone to read it so I try my best again sorry and review.


	13. Into Her Thoughts

Chapter 13: Into Her Thoughts

Drops of blood streamed down the walls; a hand print smeared the blood that decorated the kitchen of her once beloved home. She stood still, unable to tare her eyes away from the mutilated figures. There were no tears, just blinding pain. She still heard it, the screams bouncing of the walls. The agonizing screams that haunted her. Cut her soul. There was no sorrow; she had left that behind her. All she could do was watch as it replayed itself again, and again.

She looked at her hands; they were covered with a deep red substance. A terrified shiver ran through her, she tried to rid herself of it, but it wouldn't come off…The woman's screams distracted her from trying to clean her hands, she looked up. She was pinned on the floor, blood pouring from gash somewhere near her temple. She slid to the floor trying to protect herself from her mothers pleading, screams, her failed attempts to free herself form her attacker.

'_JANE! LEAVE HER ALONE, IT'S ME YOU WANT! …please I beg you don't hurt her' _She heard her father plead the man who hovered over her mother.

A cold chuckle escaped the man, "Muggle you're time will come" he said as he returned to his victim. A mournful whimper escaped the woman…the tears poured from her swallen eyes.

"STOP!" Hermione screamed…and everything quickly fast forwarded. She watched as her father tried in vain to stop the man, and was blasted to the wall. Another masked man drew a knife and stabbed him, over and over, then cut his throat. She watched the blood flow from her fathers wounds…She watched him die, looking at her.

"Please stop," Hermione cried, unable to save them, she had watched them die so many times…'Scream bitch' she heard the bastard who thrust into her mother say. A few minutes later, which seemed to last forever to Hermione, the pig had finished satisfying himself, the third death eater muttered 'crucio' as his fellow death eater got up and arranged his robes. Hermione saw her mothers body go ridged and spasm after the curse was lifted…

"Who's next?" the man who had just finished playing with the woman in front of him asked.

'I'll have a go,' another one said.

Hermione covered her ears as her mother began to yell for them to stop, for them to just kill her.

Severus looked at the young woman in front of him. He watched what she saw. His jaw tightened, he knew that this happened. He had once himself been ordered to attend the 'prestigious honor' of torturing muggles. Glancing towards Hermione again, he saw her crying, muttering and rocking herself. Severus heart tightened as she covered her ears with her hands. Unable to take her suffering anymore, he walked, feeling with each step a great wave of pain wash over him. Finally upon reaching her, he placed a hand in front of her. She opened her eyes, feeling him near her. Hermione looked at his hand and then slowly looked at him. Her eyes broken, shattered, tired, and pleading for help stared into his. Drawing him in, pulling him towards her, begging him to please stop this, to save her. His heart ached, she looked lost, abandoned.

He drew her into his arms with a quick and graceful movement. She sobbed heart wrenching cries into his coat. He made hushing sounds, while running his hand down and up her back in a soothing manner. They stayed like this for a while, as she grabbed him in desperation, as her mother screamed again in agony…

"Hermione?" he said unable to stand being inside her mind…he couldn't bring himself to call her _Miss_ _Granger,_ not now, seeing how weak she was.

She was shaking in his arms. He tilted her head towards him, and spoke, "I have to go, I'll return soon. I promise I won't leave you here," he added seeing the fear etched into her face.

Reluctantly she let go, "please don't leave me" she said trying to stop the tears from continuing to fall. She watched him nod, an ear splitting screamed echoed through the house. A scream she knew was her mothers, a scream that would haunt her dreams.

A/N: Thanks to those who are reading…I know some of you have some questions, but I'm not sure I understand what you're asking me…if you would elaborate a little more it would help. Thanks to Crazylady34, your review was very touching…I'm glad you got through it hun, aww having a good guy next to your side is a wonderful thing. MigratingCoconuts06, not sure what you're talking about…what is it you're confused about. Another great thanks to notwritten, and felonusangel


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: The ground we both stand on.

His mind reeled with her thoughts and emotions, he slowly eased his mind away from hers fearing he would hurt her if he did it too expeditiously. It took longer then he liked but in the end the results he had desired were achieved. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to wake her; it took a minute or two before she stared blankly at him, her eyes hollow, and bleak. He moved away from her not wanting her to feel alarmed, she didn't attempt to stop him.

"Miss Granger," he snapped unsure of what her thought process was at the moment. She wasn't moving he wasn't even sure she was breathing. She sat up at the sound her name, the covers falling freely around her. She looked dazed, bewildered. She blinked rapidly, trying to piece everything together. Taking a deep calming breath she looked at him, her gaze was steady. It sent a chill of panic through him. Sliding of the bed, standing at least a head shorter then him, she looked into the vast depth of his eyes. The girl she had once gazed upon was gone, now stood someone else. The shell of Hermione Jean Granger, it confused him just to try to understand all her emotions all the images he had seen her mind. She stumbled as she tried to walk past him; he reached out to balance her.

"No" she said in a strained voice pushing his hand away. She stumbled a little more almost falling as she endeavored to walk without assistance. Her thin body was shaking by the time she reached the other side of the room. Severus noted she was cupping her left side as she leaned against the door frame of his bathroom to support herself from falling; walking towards her he grabbing her arm to stop her from causing any more damage, he quickly looked her over. She was bleeding profoundly from the wound she had received when she was thrown across the room and slammed against his bookshelves. She tried to free herself from his grip only to have it tighten. He pushed her against the door frame, while his other hand moved towards the wounded area to inspect the severity of her wound. He released her as his body covered hers inches away from touching. He touched her hand and tried to move it away. Unable to do so without causing her harm he withdrew it; a deep red colored substance remained on it afterwards. He attempted again trying to pry her hand away from the wound.

"I said No!" she screamed and watched as he was tossed across the room skidding to a crash on the stone floor. Her breath came in shallow intakes, the pain made her feel dizzy and she felt herself slip a few inches closer to the floor. Severus looked at her surprised and then angrily, his usual scowl returning.

"You stupid girl, I'm trying to help you." he bellowed standing up, dusting himself off.

Her eyes darkened with his words, 'help me' she retorted her voice quivering; 'I don't need help.'

He sneered at her "it seems you do" he said looking at her side. She followed his eyes and frowned. She was bleeding more by the minute she felt faint but it didn't matter, all that mattered was keeping him away from her, he had seen her at her weakest point. It was pride. She would not break in front of him. She would not break in front of anyone. She was so tired, so tired of everything going wrong, but she had been weak enough….she had lost her family because of it. She hadn't been there when they needed her, she had failed them. She felt her legs give under her, and felt two strong hands grab her before she hit the floor. She looked into her saviors eyes, and saw worry for a split second before it was masked again into an impassive look

"You can't be strong if you don't let people help you, he reasoned with her, at least until your better."

She felt her throat tighten and held back tears. Nodding she relaxed, and allowed him to help. She would fight, she wouldn't break again. Once he helped her regain her stand she looked down at her arm, the bandages were soaked in blood again, and her side felt on fire. Closing her eyes she heard him mutter incantation after incantation, her body tingled, and the pain lessened. She looked at a button of his coat, lost in thought. Her father's voice rang in her head over and over again. Oblivious to anything else she reached out and touched the black button, letting her fingers memorize it. She dropped her hand, the enchantment broken and looked up at curious Severus Snape. She shifted her eyes away from his and pretended nothing happened.

"I'm going to carry you" she heard him state. She nodded and felt her body being lifted; they walked a short distance, a distance that had seemed so much longer when she had walked it alone.

She felt him set her on the bed, and pull away. She missed his warmth, she missed her warmth. She exhaled trying to understand everything. She felt her nerves on fire. She looked at him, and he looked impassively at her.

"You need to let me assist you _in something's_"he commented in a bored tone. "It's for your well being, the sooner you're better the sooner you can leave."

She nodded letting his words sink in. She was a nuisance to him, she felt ashamed of needing someone to take care of her. "I'll do whatever it takes to get better as long as it's reasonable" she challenged back.

He looked at her, and nodded. "Reasonable" he recited. He looked her over once more and left. Hermione looked after him, her eyes tired but her mind buzzing with thoughts. She dreaded sleeping, seeing it again. Seeing them die. Her thoughts were interrupted by someone handing her a goblet of what she knew was sleeping drought.

"It's stronger," he commented as he watched her look down at it. She gazed at it a second more before drinking it down quickly.

"Thank you," she said looking at him. She handed him the empty goblet. He took it and walked out of the room. She sighed, exhausted, it shocked her that the simple movements she had performed before could tire her out so quickly. Yawning she closed her eyes and slipped into her first restful dreamless night of sleep in many weeks.

Authors Note: Sorry it took forever. Thank you to all who reviewed and read. Thanks to padslet, saerie10 – thanks...Snape isn't bad but he isn't soft. Thanks for telling me I'll fix that. Also a great thanks to notwritten, MigratingCoconuts06, Elven at Heart. Give me 10 reviews and next chapter will be posted. Thanks to all again. Hope you had a good Thanksgiving.


	15. Chapter 15 Goodbye

A week and two days, two hours and thirty minutes, the exact time it had taken for her to regain her strength and health she had counted every passing moment, that's all she could do to avoid not pondering on what if's that filled her mind. In that week she had learned two things, she wasn't the only one that dreaded sleeping, not the only one who screamed in agony in the darkness of the night. She wasn't alone in her suffering; a man a room away suffered worse then her. She never spoke of it, she knew all to well how it felt knowing that someone knew you cried for someone in the dead of night.

She smiled sadly to herself. She would miss him; he had become a comfort to her. They had spend their meals talking over potions and sometimes just enjoying the silence that calmed her. Other times they'd move smoothly along to a book either of them had read or wanted to read. She would miss it. She would miss a warm hand resting on her shoulder when she woke up screaming. Miss the way he treated her as his equal and not as the scum of the earth. She would miss it all but she knew it didn't mean anything to him, not like it did for her.

She'd miss him but he'd never know.

"Miss Granger" she heard a voice behind her say. She recognized it, she had learned to be comforted in it. Sighing she turned around, folding her hands in front of her.

"Are you ready to leave?" She nodded and stood up looking around her. She'd always remember this room. Remember it as her hell and heaven. Her memories seemed to have that in common lately. Closing her eyes briefly she blocked that train of thought, she ddn't want to remember that not right now not ever again. She opened her eyes and saw that he had gone ahead of her, his footsteps echoing almost silently on the wood floor. He seemed to glide on air sometimes, not making a sound when he walked. He never seemed shocked or scared really, she wondered if he ever was. No matter she thought to herself that was a conversation she'd never have with him, not that she would have been so bold to ask, but still the same it erked her not to know.

Yawning softly, she looked around again, her lack of sleep was getting to her fast. She looked over to the bed and the thought of nights with no pain no sorrow. She bid her goodbyes to the room as she stepped through the door. To it all. To the good moments, to brief happiness and to him silently.


	16. Chapter 16 Sleepless

Everything was silent. Silence is what he was used to. He almost forgot about everything that had accord but his mind would not suppress all the memories, of her. Unable to return to sleep he uncovered himself and stood up. There was no point really in laying there looking at the ceiling. Stretching his limbs he suppressed a yawn, it was around 3 am he was making better of sleeping. Better compared to many other nights when he'd toss and turn for hours on end. Walking to the bathroom, he turned on the water to hot and slipped out of his boxers effortlessly, not wanting to wait any longer he proceeded into stepping inside. The warm heating water felt delightful on his aching muscles, it soothed away some of the tension stored in his shoulders but not all of it. He reflected on the days events, waking up, getting ready, and dropping Ganger off. Not much not that great, he wondered if she was doing well. He didn't know why it had bothered him when he had come into his private chambers and found it empty. You're getting soft a voice spoke from deep inside him. He grunted slightly as he washed his hair, runninghis fingers through it and scrubbing his scalp. As he did so he thought of how useless it was to wash it when a few hours from then it would be greasy and dirty again, but for now it would at least be clean. Running his hand down his stomach as it made a very unpleasant noise on protest of not being fed he reached for the wash cloth. Apon attaining it he began to wash the rest of his body with it. Making sure to get every possible inch of himself.

Once satisfied that he was indeed clean he turned off the water and grabbed a towel. Drying himself off he stepped out of the shower and began to walk to his bedroom. After drying himself he dressed in his usual attire, all black, it was comforting and clean. It went well with the kind of work he did. Casting a cooling charm to keep himself cool he looked around, the muggle clock Dumbledore had given him read 3:30. Sneering angrily at it he walked out, he had only used 30 minutes of his time. Now was as good as any time to patrol the hallways, that always calmed him, made his mind focus on something. He'd hand out some detentions, then come back to his chambers and get ready to go eat with the rest of the staff. Drink his coffee, black no sugar or cream, dreadful stuff to most but a small pleasure to him. Later he'd return, and if he got lucky hand out a few more detentions to students. It made him smile slightly knowing that he had that kind of power over them, seeing the fear in their eyes as he approached, yes that would have to do until classes began. It would be another fine day. Then he'd return to his chambers and talk to her….he stopped walking and began to analyze why his mind had added that to the plans. Did he dare say he missed her nagging ways? Missed her laugh? The few times she had laughed, laughed at his jokes, HIS jokes. No one ever did that, no one besides Dumbledore and Lily. Lily; he dreaded thinking of her, she had caused him already so much pain, so much suffering. Nights, Days , hours, minutes were haunted with her memory. He wouldn't think of her, not now. He just couldn't. The mere thought of her made his mood turn fowl. Some student would unfortunately pay for that, some unsuspecting student would suffer do to it.


End file.
